Showing posts with label Top Ten Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten Lists. Show all posts
Jul 19, 2017
Top 10 Sam Hunt Tracks We Were Actually Wrong About
Okay, we'll admit it. We get it wrong on rare occasion. Sometimes we assume the worst based on bad singles, or become biased because of an outward image or too much hype… and miss out on some truly great songs from the artists we pick on.
Here are the top 10 Sam Hunt songs that we shouldn't have been so quick to judge because they're actually awesome!
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10.
Here's the Spotify playlist!
Labels:
Sam Hunt,
Top 10 Lists,
Top Ten Lists
Jun 6, 2017
Top 10 Things I'd Rather Watch Than the CMT Awards
The 2017 CMT Music Awards airs tomorrow night and features Jason Derulo and Luke Bryan,
Chris Lane, FGL & The Chainsmokers, Thomas Rhett, and lots of other bullshit like that, so...
Top 10 (Awful) Things I'd Rather Watch
Than the CMT Music Awards
Chris Lane, FGL & The Chainsmokers, Thomas Rhett, and lots of other bullshit like that, so...
Top 10 (Awful) Things I'd Rather Watch
Than the CMT Music Awards
10. An old VCR tape from the late 80s where my little brother taped
Care Bears over the last half of Headbangers' Ball
9. Chris Stapleton literally singing the entire Jackson, TN phone book
8. 3 hours of C-Span's online video archive without the aid of caffeine and if I doze off, it starts over
6. The English Patient
5. Col. Casper's entire video library
(He's a a loon who claimed Elizabeth Cook is into the occult and Tim McGraw is a member of the Illuminati, among other craziness)
5. Col. Casper's entire video library
(He's a a loon who claimed Elizabeth Cook is into the occult and Tim McGraw is a member of the Illuminati, among other craziness)
4. Manimal
3. My own minor surgical procedure, while awake
2. Donald Trump and Charles Barkley having a debate about the best condiment
1. A Caillou marathon at full volume
Labels:
Chainsmokers,
Chris Stapleton,
CMT Awards,
FGL,
Jason Derulo,
Luke Bryan,
Satire,
Seinfeld,
Top Ten Lists
Apr 5, 2017
10 Biggest Jerks in Bluegrass
Some would imagine that the earthy, humble bluegrass music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more mainstream genres of music. However, thanks to critic and hipster love for country music's less commercial cousin, things have changed of late. This niche but culturally significant groundswell has slowly created a context wherein all manner of unlikely aspirants were more apt to let their jerk flag fly. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.
10 Biggest Jerks in Bluegrass
10 Biggest Jerks in Bluegrass
10. Dale Ann Bradley
Posts only fake news on her Facebook page.
Leaves car running with rap metal playing loudly when she runs in the convenience store.
Posts only fake news on her Facebook page.
Leaves car running with rap metal playing loudly when she runs in the convenience store.
9. Chris Thile
Thinks Spiderman 3 is the best superhero movie ever made.
Anonymously defends Sam Hunt on YouTube.
Anonymously defends Sam Hunt on YouTube.
8. Trampled by Turtles
Run an underground fight club for children.
Walk slowly side-by-side on sidewalks.
Run an underground fight club for children.
Walk slowly side-by-side on sidewalks.
7. Kristin Scott Benson (The Grascals)
Still has an un-rewound VCR tape of Lawnmower Man 2 from Blockbuster.
Talks loudly on her phone in the Kroger check out line.
Signs autographs with wrong name.
Still has an un-rewound VCR tape of Lawnmower Man 2 from Blockbuster.
Talks loudly on her phone in the Kroger check out line.
Signs autographs with wrong name.
6. Doyle Lawson
Reheats leftover fish in the bus microwave.
Pushed an established mandolin player down the stairs; took over his spot.
Actually not that big a fan of Bill Monroe.
Reheats leftover fish in the bus microwave.
Pushed an established mandolin player down the stairs; took over his spot.
Actually not that big a fan of Bill Monroe.
5. Andy Hall (Infamous Stringdusters)
Farts in church.
Once found a $10 on the ground by the Salvation Army Christmas kettle and bought beer with it.
Posts gory surgery photos on Facebook.
Farts in church.
Once found a $10 on the ground by the Salvation Army Christmas kettle and bought beer with it.
Posts gory surgery photos on Facebook.
4. Rhonda Vincent
Illegally downloads Alison Krauss albums.
Smokes right by the door at restaurants.
Is known to tell fat jokes between songs.
Rolls coal.
Illegally downloads Alison Krauss albums.
Smokes right by the door at restaurants.
Is known to tell fat jokes between songs.
Rolls coal.
3. Ricky Skaggs
Quite belligerent when drunk.
Once initiated a fistfight with Marty Stuart over who had the best hair.
Band members who make eye contact are docked a night's pay.
Retweets Lena Dunham daily.
Quite belligerent when drunk.
Once initiated a fistfight with Marty Stuart over who had the best hair.
Band members who make eye contact are docked a night's pay.
Retweets Lena Dunham daily.
2. Noam Pikelny
Spends all his downtime cursing at children while playing Horizon Zero Dawn on his PS4.
Waits until the last second to merge in traffic.
Didn't vote for Trump but pretends he did on Facebook just to piss off his liberal friends.
Constantly says "bae."
Spends all his downtime cursing at children while playing Horizon Zero Dawn on his PS4.
Waits until the last second to merge in traffic.
Didn't vote for Trump but pretends he did on Facebook just to piss off his liberal friends.
Constantly says "bae."
1. Alison Krauss
Requires parmesan dusted truffled croutons, a bottle of Eagle Rare 17 Year Old Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon, and Frette Diamond Jacquard towels on her tour rider.
Is a close talker, infrequent brusher.
Once punched a country blogger for putting an extra "s" in her first name on an album review.
Reported Rhonda Vincent to RIAA for illegally downloading her albums.
Requires parmesan dusted truffled croutons, a bottle of Eagle Rare 17 Year Old Single Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon, and Frette Diamond Jacquard towels on her tour rider.
Is a close talker, infrequent brusher.
Once punched a country blogger for putting an extra "s" in her first name on an album review.
Reported Rhonda Vincent to RIAA for illegally downloading her albums.
Mar 22, 2017
Top 10 Things Brantley Gilbert Fans are Spending Their Tax Refund on This Year
Top 10 Things Brantley Gilbert Fans
are Spending Their Tax Refund on This Year
10. Skoal Dispenser
8. Expand the family business
4. Bail
1. Some "cleaning supplies"
Labels:
BG Nation,
Brantley Gilbert,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Jan 17, 2017
Top 10 Ways Nashville Will Respond to Sturgill Simpson's Popularity
10. Sign Virgil Simpson, Sturgill's tonedeaf cousin
9. More songs about DMT
8. Ban pitch correction in lieu of barely discernible enunciation
7. Request Florida-Georgia Line try some of that "authenticity" stuff on for size
6. Vow to release another dumb bro-country song for every
8. Ban pitch correction in lieu of barely discernible enunciation
7. Request Florida-Georgia Line try some of that "authenticity" stuff on for size
6. Vow to release another dumb bro-country song for every
Facebook rant Sturgill goes on, out of spite
5. Kidnap Dave Cobb; force him at gunpoint to produce Rascal Flatts next album
4. Quietly invite Sturgill to play the CMAs; never let anyone know
4. Quietly invite Sturgill to play the CMAs; never let anyone know
about his 5 minutes of laughing on voice mail reply
3. Scour the hills of Kentucky for a salt-of-the-earth type who writes great songs;
3. Scour the hills of Kentucky for a salt-of-the-earth type who writes great songs;
2. Get Cole Swindell to cover "You Can Have the Crown" …very poorly
1. Just do whatever the fuck they were gonna do in the first place because
1. Just do whatever the fuck they were gonna do in the first place because
they still don't know who Sturgill Simpson is
Dec 22, 2016
FTM's Top 10 Hick-Hop Songs of 2016
Labels:
Best of 2016,
hick hop,
Top Ten Lists
Dec 21, 2016
Top 10 Reasons Brantley Gilbert Fans are on Santa's Naughty List
10. Didn't know she was 17
…and a second cousin
9. Stole a bunch of batteries and Calamine lotion trying to make meth
8. Got a DUI while listening to a Brantley Gilbert (who is sober) drinking song
7. Punched a little person because "he wouldn't send a message to Santa"
6. Punched a woman in a road rage incident while driving to anger management class
5. Selling rock candy as crack at alternative school
4. Toting around homemade pipe bombs at "open carry rally"
3. Spray painted misspelled answers to remedial reading test on water tower beside the school as a cheat sheet
2. Sheep. [details redacted]
1. Keyed car of blogger who was mean to Brantley
…and a second cousin
9. Stole a bunch of batteries and Calamine lotion trying to make meth
8. Got a DUI while listening to a Brantley Gilbert (who is sober) drinking song
7. Punched a little person because "he wouldn't send a message to Santa"
6. Punched a woman in a road rage incident while driving to anger management class
5. Selling rock candy as crack at alternative school
4. Toting around homemade pipe bombs at "open carry rally"
3. Spray painted misspelled answers to remedial reading test on water tower beside the school as a cheat sheet
2. Sheep. [details redacted]
1. Keyed car of blogger who was mean to Brantley
Labels:
Brantley Gilbert,
Christmas,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Dec 2, 2016
Top 10 Things Kane Brown Fans Want for Christmas
10. Puberty
9. Batteries for the hearing aid that hasn't worked since 2013
8. Hello Kitty iPhone 4s case
7. To know which local professional wrestler is their daddy
6. Lightbar for their foriller
5. Neighbor's wifi password
4. Extra cake in the prison cafeteria
3. Donations to their cancer hoax Kickstarter campaign
2. Drugs, lots of drugs
1. My six front teeth
---------------------
By Trailer with help from Jeremy Harris
Labels:
Christmas,
Jeremy Harris,
Kane Brown,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Nov 7, 2016
Top 10 Things Kenny Chesney Might've Been Thinking at the CMAs
10. Did I leave the stove on?
9. Natalie's hair looks like the Devil's Tower in Close Encounters!
8. Really need to fart. Really need to fart. Really need to fart.
7. The Chicks get Beyoncé and I just get Pink?
6. Shirts with sleeves are so damn uncomfortable.
5. I wish I hadn't smoked all that crack this afternoon.
4. On one hand, Hillary is more presidential and experienced, but on
9. Natalie's hair looks like the Devil's Tower in Close Encounters!
8. Really need to fart. Really need to fart. Really need to fart.
7. The Chicks get Beyoncé and I just get Pink?
6. Shirts with sleeves are so damn uncomfortable.
5. I wish I hadn't smoked all that crack this afternoon.
4. On one hand, Hillary is more presidential and experienced, but on
the other, Trump really could shake up the status quo. Hmmm.
3. *nothing. nothing at all*
2. Should I put my award from tonight on the guest house mantle?
3. *nothing. nothing at all*
2. Should I put my award from tonight on the guest house mantle?
Or maybe in the auxiliary trophy case at the beach house?
1. You know? I'd really like to be called a racist and get death threats
1. You know? I'd really like to be called a racist and get death threats
from Beyoncé fans. I think I'll make a sour face.
Labels:
Beyonce,
CMAs,
Dixie Chicks,
Kenny Chesney,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Oct 18, 2016
Top 10 Halloween Costumes for Kane Brown Fans
10. Sexy Parole Officer
09. Delusional Fangirl
09. Delusional Fangirl
08. Bottle of Percocet
07. Sexy High School Dropout
07. Sexy High School Dropout
04. White trash
03. Creepy, obsessive 43-year-old fan from his hometown
02. Sexy Pregnant Teen
03. Creepy, obsessive 43-year-old fan from his hometown
02. Sexy Pregnant Teen
01. Sexy Meth Cook
Labels:
Halloween,
Kane Brown,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Oct 6, 2016
Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next
To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!
(and it's a top 11)
Top 11 Upcoming Topics For
Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts
11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams.
10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane.
9. Bambi's mom was an inside job.
8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?
7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts.
6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.
5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why.
4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light.
3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!
2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners.
1. Billy
Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors
working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and
implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because
he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode.
(This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)
-by Jeremy Harris
Aug 17, 2016
Stash Contest Entry: Top Ten Things I’d Rather Listen to Than Florida Georgia Line
*language warning*
Top Ten Things I’d Rather Listen to
Than Florida Georgia Line
10) Nails on a chalkboard
9) Fran Drescher
8) One of those yappy little dogs that never shut the fuck up
7) A vacuum cleaner drowning out the new episode of my favorite TV show
6) William Hung’s entire CD
5) An audio book of “Heart of Darkness” read by Gilbert Gottfried
4) A knife scraping over burnt toast
3) A fire alarm being tested every five minutes. All day long
2) Pee Wee Herman singing “The Song That Never Ends”
1) The guy in the next bathroom stall taking a loud explosive shit
Labels:
Contests,
Florida Georgia Line,
Top Ten Lists
Jul 25, 2016
Top 10 Things I'd Rather Have Played On Country Radio Than Steven Tyler
List by Jeremy Harris - "Graphics" by Trailer
Top 10 Things I'd Rather Have Played
On Country Radio Than Steven Tyler
10. Gary Levox singing about the new Chicken McGriddles
9. An announcement about a Chris Gaines comeback tour
8. My grandma talking dirty to me
7. Steve Earle and Rush Limbaugh talking politics
6. "All shows/music have been cancelled and
9. An announcement about a Chris Gaines comeback tour
8. My grandma talking dirty to me
7. Steve Earle and Rush Limbaugh talking politics
6. "All shows/music have been cancelled and
we will play Bobby Bones on repeat 24/7"
5. A news update listing me as number 1 on the FBI's most wanted list
4. Aerosmith
3. "All NCAA schools except one have been given bowl and tourney bans,
4. Aerosmith
3. "All NCAA schools except one have been given bowl and tourney bans,
1. Morgan Freeman reading my porn search history
Jun 17, 2016
Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Florida-Georgia Line Fan
Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Florida-Georgia Line Fan
10. Your YouTube comments pretty much guarantee you'll never be President
9. Your Tinder profile lists your interests as "rolling coal on Priuses" and "keepin' it lit."
8. You've never bought an album in your life but have
8. You've never bought an album in your life but have
115 days worth of bro-country and hick-hop on your iTunes
7. You've got three baby mamas but can't legally vote yet
7. You've got three baby mamas but can't legally vote yet
6. You think Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies' first name is Merle
5. You met your side chick at a Trump rally
4. The teachers at your middle school are tired of you parking your Raptor in their spots
5. You met your side chick at a Trump rally
4. The teachers at your middle school are tired of you parking your Raptor in their spots
3. You bought your nephew a Fireball onesie for his first birthday
2. You have a "Thiz iz how we roll" tattoo on your belly
1. If u don't see nothing wrong with this sentence than your probly a fan
2. You have a "Thiz iz how we roll" tattoo on your belly
1. If u don't see nothing wrong with this sentence than your probly a fan
Labels:
Donald Trump,
Florida Georgia Line,
hick hop,
Merle Haggard,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
Apr 29, 2016
Top 10 Things FGL Fans are Boycotting (Besides Target)
Top 10 Things FGL Fans are Boycotting (Besides Target)
--------------------------
10. Reading
9. Writing
9. Writing
8. Tattoo artists that work in
health department approved shops
7. Safe sex
6. The dentist
7. Safe sex
6. The dentist
5. Outhouses that aren't gender specific
4. Teenage sobriety
4. Teenage sobriety
3. Meth dealers that don't offer frequent buyer discounts
2. Grammar
1. Good music
---------
By Trailer and Jeremy Harris
2. Grammar
1. Good music
---------
By Trailer and Jeremy Harris
Labels:
Florida Georgia Line,
Satire,
Top Ten Lists
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