Showing posts with label Zac Brown Band. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zac Brown Band. Show all posts

Jan 12, 2024

Zac Brown Announces Upcoming Second Midlife Crisis

Country bandleader Zac Brown had an announcement for fans this past Wednesday, but not one they’d have seen coming. Brown, 45, took to his socials not to announce an upcoming album or tour, but for something else entirely

“To all our fans, I have made the very difficult decision to begin my second midlife crisis. Despite thinking this part of my life was in the past, recent upheavals have made clear that I will soon be hitting the gym again.” began Zac, before running down a list of likely changes his repeat experience with the middle-age rite of passage will bring. 


“Where my previous midlife crisis saw me get arrested at a hotel where there were hookers and blow, this time around I’ll mix it up a little bit with… let’s go with escorts and ketamine in my vicinity this time,” continued Brown. “Surely in those alleged pursuits I will find myself …as well as a path forward.”


Many men experience a “mid-life crisis” sometime between the ages of 40-60 years old. According to Wikipedia, “it is a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possible lack of accomplishments.” 


Oftentimes though, it is outside stressors that can also lead to a man of a certain age purchasing a soft top Bronco and dating a 24 year old they met at the dispensary. This seems to possibly be the case with Brown, who recently announced a divorce from his wife of 4 months.


In his previous crisis, Brown was known to experiment heavily, and poorly, with styles of music other than his usual jam-oriented pop-country. “Last time we did cringe-rap and EDM; this time I’m thinking I’ll embarrass the rest of the band with some guest shots from folks like The Kid LAROI and Kodak Black. Maybe we’ll drop a black metal album. Who knows? F*** the haters.”


At press time, Zac Brown was doing a photo shoot with People, touting his recent trip to Mexico for a non-FDA-approved baldness cure. 


Aug 18, 2022

Parks and Rec Country Reaction Gifs 4

When he says he's seen Florida-Georgia Line in concert one time

Why is Walker Hayes so cringe?

After years of comparing Luke Bryan to toilets and other gross stuff...

When he changes the station from Outlaw XM to The Highway

I don't care if the Zac Brown Band is putting out better music now, after The Owl...

Tell me an underrated Strait song then amble away

Tell me what Sam Hunt music sounds like

The greeting when a female artist does a radio station visit

If Morgan Wallen is playing at an outdoor festival

Sep 24, 2020

Parks & Rec Country Reaction Gifs 3

Friend: As soon as this pandemic is over, I'm buying us tickets to the first Cody Jinks concert and the beer is on me.

Me:

When you can tell somebody is going to lump you in with idiots when you tell them you like country music

When I come across a Rascal Flatts fan page that says Gary Levox is sexy 

Zac Brown Band introduces its 18th member

Why did you go to the Florida-Georgia Line concert?

When I hear a car blasting Sam Hunt slowly approaching from a distance

What the mainstream country radio DJ rarely says

I haven't even heard Kane Brown's latest single but I

Sep 11, 2020

Zac Brown Band's "Whatever It Is" Chosen for STD Awareness Campaign


by Trailer - Originally Posted on Country California May 26, 2009 
The Zac Brown Band's recent smash "Whatever It Is" will be featured in an upcoming STD awareness ad campaign, reports the group's manager Turk Peeny. 

"We all got a good laugh out of it when they first called," said Peeny, referring to the nonprofit group Gone-orrhea's initial request. "I mean, 'she's got whatever it is', yeah, it works both ways... but this is a love song and the band didn't want it to be associated with STDs." 

When Gone-orrhea came calling a second time, though, Brown realized that the opportunity was one that his group, currently touring in support of their platinum disc The Foundation, could not afford to pass up. Long story short, Zac and bandmates agreed to license the song and retool its female-appreciative lyrics into something more on point. Only the chorus of the revised version is used in the ad spot, as the verses were deemed a little too sexual for prime time. 

The commercial depicts a young couple considering amorous relations before ultimately deciding upon the girl getting her genital inflammation checked out by a gynecologist as Zac sings "She's got whatever it is, getting tested today." As the spot fades, the line "gotta take that Cipro pill, cause baby I love you" accompanies the couple dancing in the rain. 

When asked if they'd be performing this version of the song during their popular live shows, Mr. Brown said it would depend on how much cold beer he had on a Friday night. 

At press time, Gone-orrhea was in talks with Rodney Atkins about repurposing the song "It's America" as "It's Chlamydia." 


Dec 5, 2019

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Country Reaction Gifs

♫ ♬ I wanna see you again, but I'm stuck in colder weather♫ ♬

But when you hear Zac Brown's new music

"I want to be a country singer too"

I sleep in a van with other dudes and sing country songs
so people will buy t-shirts

♫ ♬Under my thumb...♫ ♬

When you've had enough Christmas music and it's time for some Whiskey Myers

When Santa complains about Rudolph listening to Kane Brown during the reindeer games

Gary Levox's favorite toy

When everybody finds out Hermey is a FGL fan

How excited was Tyler Childers when he got that SEC commercial?

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