Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Dec 19, 2021
Dec 17, 2021
Walker Hayes to Release Country Remix of “Fancy Like”
Riding high on the success of his massive crossover pop hit “Fancy Like,” Walker Hayes has announced plans to follow that up in coming weeks with a country remix, or re-imagining to be exact, of the viral smash.
The song, which was Walker’s first #1 hit and the first Applebee’s commercial to claim the pinnacle on the major country charts, will receive quite a makeover for this incarnation. Instead of the danceable beats, there will be light percussion and passionate fiddle shreds. The laconic rap/talk-singing reading of the lyrics will be replaced by a slow, note-bending drawl of the sort once employed by Garth Brooks. There may even be some audible steel guitar, clearly signaling a radical departure for the wide-jawed Tennessee boy.
Whether this release will continue Hayes’ winning streak is yet to be determined, but many behind the scenes are questioning the move. "Who's gonna play it? I mean, this thing is like, old-timey sounding and stuff," said Clearchannel country radio DJ Trey Turner. "You can't do a TikTok dance to it… I don't like it," complained Klarissa Jo McReynolds of Bude, Mississippi in a reply on Walker’s Facebook page.
Hayes, for his part, maintains that this will play to a new demographic he hasn't reached before. "The people who actually like the organic, authentic-sounding, classic traditional stuff like Tim McGraw and Jason Aldean,” said Hayes, shaping a recently purchased cowboy hat, "that's an audience we haven't spoken to yet."
Dec 16, 2021
Jingle All the Way Country Reaction Gifs
Turnpike announced a second Red Rocks show but you probably won’t be able to get those tickets either
When you’re usually a gentle soul, but your kids are singing “Fancy Like”
When Booster keeps singing Dan + Shay Christmas songs
I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time
When your friend scored Turnpike tickets for him, his girlfriend, and her friend
Why is hick hop still a thing?
When a Kane Brown fan is trying to communicate through spoken word but it just sounds like gibberish and slang
When you put on the country Spotify playlist at the Sunday school class Christmas party but you forgot to take off the Wheeler Walker Jr.
Dec 15, 2021
What Your Favorite 2021 Album Says About You: Part 2
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Billy Strings - Renewal
“Dust in a Baggie” isn’t just a song; it’s your life story. You’re too bluegrass for Americana, too foulmouthed for bluegrass. You drive a van that’s too dirty to be confused for a creepy “free candy” van.
Morgan Wade - Reckless
You have used brass knuckles in a fight, regardless of your gender. You’re a 90s kid who doesn’t relate to those “You Know You’re a 90s Kid if…” Buzzfeed posts. You believe that genres aren’t important, but also think most pop country is sweltering garbage.
Dan + Shay - Good Things
You can’t even remember how to spell your own kids’ names. You drink so much wine, you’re on your way to a fatty liver despite weighing 110 pounds. You don’t like country, and don’t really care if people make fun of Dan + Shay for being soft pop, but you will curse a Starbucks manager in a heartbeat.
Jason Aldean - Macon
You think Morgan Wallen is just a Jason Aldean copycat with better hair. You have called Eric Church a cuck lib on Twitter. You wish you were young enough to pull off driving a truck with a Carolina squat. Your kids make fun of your tribal tattoo.
Morgan Wallen - Dangerous
You spent the money you were going to donate to Trump 2024 on Wallen tickets. You “have black friends.” You and your girlfriend drive trucks with a Carolina squat. You’d say your life motto is “Bad Ass Boys Drive Bad Ass Toys” but it’s actually “celebrating mediocrity.”
Carly Pearce - 29: Written in Stone
You’ve been through it, sister. Or brother. Or whoever.
Blake Shelton - Body Language
The only time you intentionally listen to any music whatsoever is when watching The Voice. Team Blake all the way! You’re suspicious and jealous of Gwen, but will tear anyone a new one if they besmirch her or Blake on Twitter. The police have a file on you, but you don’t have a record.
Parmalee - For You
You see members of Parmalee on holidays and at family reunions.
Dec 14, 2021
Predicting 2022 in Mainstream Country Music
By Bobby Peacock
• Russell Dickerson revealed to actually be a deepfake
• Bobby continues to be the only person on the entire Internet not to like Lainey Wilson
• Luke Combs hits #1 with "Beer,” which is just him singing the word "beer" over and over again for four minutes
• Walker Hayes gets his second #1 with a cover of the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" jingle
• Niko Moon runs crying to his mom when his next single fails to chart at all; claims radio PDs called him a poopyhead
• In an unprecedented move, Lauren Alaina records a duet with herself
• Kelsea Ballerini and HARDY propose to record a duet; plans canceled when they can't agree on which letters in the title should be capitalized, if any
• Jordan Davis buys dirt; realizes he can't find the one he can't live without; sells dirt
• Jason Aldean, Toby Keith, John Rich, Travis Tritt, and Aaron Lewis record a collab called "Red Voters with Blue Balls (Let's Go Brandon)"; song's lyric video gets deleted from YouTube for hate speech
• Brantley Gilbert actually does release the worst country song of all time -- oh wait, he already did that with "Bottoms Up"
• All four members of Parmalee discovered working at the same Arby's in Nashville
• Man previously caught sporting public erection due to Turnpike reunion hospitalized for priapism
• Cole Swindell gets his first celeb endorsement: his own personal line of Miracle Whip
• In an even more unprecedented move, Morgan Wallen releases a cover of Western Flyer's "Cherokee Highway"
• Bobby makes another stupidly long"best of the decade" list largely composed of songs that neither Trailer nor any Farce the Music reader has ever heard before
Dec 13, 2021
Dec 12, 2021
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