A Country Boyband?!?

In Unnecessary Defense of Alan Jackson

J-man Burnett, a Farce the Music reader, has responded to the ever present Alan Jackson troll. While I'd love to just ignore this deluded person, not even ignoring them seems to end the madness. As far as I know, I can't block IP addresses on Blogger, and I'm not switching formats anytime soon because I'm lazy, so I'll just delete the comments when I remember to. Anyway, here's J-man's completely unnecessary defense of Alan Jackson.

Et Tu, Clay?

Kane Brown Fan eCards: January '19

These are real YouTube comments from Kane Brown fans.

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: January '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-16) overall which is a 2 point drop from last September (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Chris Stapleton's "Millionaire."  The worst is Mitchell Tenpenny's "Drunk Me" followed closely by Dustin Lynch's "Good Girl." There is 1 solo woman on the charts. In fact, there's only 1 woman in the entire top 20.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

The Future Looks Bleak

I Can Tell They Suck Without Hearing a Note

Kenny Chesney Concert Poetry

Bebe Rexha: Pioneer

And if you wanna talk pop artists doing crossover country songs, 

we'll need another meme about 10 times bigger than this one.

Luke Bryan Fan eCards: Sept. '17

These are real YouTube comments from Luke Bryan fans.

Caution: very foul language ahead.

STFU - Musician Opinions Matter

by Robert Dean

There’s a new comment section phenomenon that baffles the mind: “Musicians should just stick to playing music and keep their opinions to themselves.” 

Have you ever actually read the lyrics to some of your favorite songs, Chad from Alabama? Apparently not. Musicians have been speaking about social and political causes since the jump. Billie Holiday sang about racism with "Strange Fruit," Woody Guthrie was a social justice warrior, Louis Armstrong wouldn’t play shows in the south where he couldn’t integrate his band, and John Lennon was almost kicked out of America for his political views. Bruce Springsteen, David Crosby, even the guy with one good song, Ted Nugent… they've all made a career out of their political opinions. The same goes for Neil Young or the Beastie Boys, Rage Against The Machine, and arbiters of truth, The Clash. Politics is central to many artists’ identities. 

When you comment about a musician speaking their piece, or complain about an artist speaking out against the current political scene, you’re doing nothing but showing your lack of actual musical or artistic knowledge. 

Sorry, everything can’t be a constant stream of pop-flavored milquetoast, Yes Man propaganda. Having a passionate viewpoint is kinda part of the gig as a creative person, and more so why artists aren’t exactly on board with a world full of insane shit popping off weekly. 

The Dixie Chicks took a beating from Country music fans when they spoke out against Bush’s pointless wars. It goes without saying that they took a risk. The average shit-kicker don’t like it none too well when some uppity pack of chicks goes and speaks out against the Red, White, and Blue. 

And because of their outspoken stance against Bush, they’ve endeared themselves to one group and been maligned by the other – still; almost 20 years later. However, it took some wherewithal to do so. 

When a musician, an actor, a painter, whomever speaks out against a situation, a political agenda, or a worldview – it’s part of the gig as an empath to the world; Artists create worlds, they think about emotions all day, they consider what goes into a point of view, and try to paint themselves in a lot of different brush strokes. 

Just as Roger Waters has been doing on his tour, or when Kerry King or Corey Taylor, or whomever says something, it’s not because of a need to be in front of a camera or a recorder, it’s because this is a part of the social contract they’ve signed as someone who creates things. We use their words and art as our muse to live a better life. If you’re not paying attention to the subtext, whose fault is that? 

This world is fucked up. People need to remain vigilant in their fights.

Honest Billboard Song Features: Dylan Scott & Toby Keith

Shut the Hell Up, Bobby Bones

Really Dumb Country Music Reviews: Apr. '17

Real reviews from a major music service.

Sam Hunt - Body Like a Back Road

Thomas Rhett w/Maren Morris - Craving You

Wheeler Walker, Jr. - Ol' Wheeler

Brett Young - Brett Young EP

Jason Isbell - "Hope the High Road" (The Nashville Sessions)

Miranda Lambert - The Weight of These Wings

Florida-Georgia Line - Dig Your Roots

Luke Bryan Lashes Out at a Hater

Florida-Georgia Line Fan eCards

These are real YouTube comments from FGL fans

Like a Fat Kid Loves...

Reconsidering Cake
by Robert Dean

*salty language ahead*

Can we take a break from political rants, vomiting platitudes about the Cubs in the World Series, or blaming one another for the state of affairs to take a moment to talk about a band? A band with a distinct sound and style, a band who doesn’t come off like anyone else, who writes records that are thick with the hits, and yet get none of the credit they deserve?

I know you’ve got a few in your head you can think of this description, and in some cases, I’m liable to agree. But, today, right now, we’re talking about Cake.  Yes, that Cake. Cake are amazing. They’re this band that mixes a distinct vocal attack, that’s coupled with rockabilly guitars, Stax-heyday-brass, and a rhythm section that’s tighter than a popcorn fart.

But, you’re probably like, “so they wrote 'The Distance,' big fuckin’ deal. One hit wonders.” Ah, my friend, you are so wrong. Cake are like Radiohead, that if you’re not down with actual music, you likely aren’t paying attention to the string of hits they’ve had over their career. Cake manage to mix country, folk, blues, mariachi, hip-hop, and goddamn maracas and shit. They don’t sound like anyone, they move to their own sense of tonality and style and it’s sad they’re not viewed as a band at the pantheon of fandom and creativity, cuz no one sounds like Cake, and that’s a fact.

    •    Short skirt, long jacket?
    •    I Will Survive?
    •    War Pigs?
    •    Sheep Go To Heaven?
    •    Frank Sinatra?
    •    Love You Madly?
    •    Stickshifts and Safety Belts?
    •    Shadow Stabbing?
    •    Never There?




Cake managed to make "War Pigs" cool without playing the solo, and also managed to make a lame Gloria Gaynor disco tune relevant again because it was crafted with ingenious care. That’s what’s beautiful about Cake, they’re feel good music that encapsulates so much, and with such little effort because it’s just what they do.

If you can’t put on "Take It All Away" on after a breakup and not feel like you’re sailing alone on a sea of misery, you just ain’t human. That one hits home like a sledgehammer.

There’s more Waylon or George Jones here than any of these posers who cite the ole’ troubadours by name every chance they get; instead, Cake writes songs that offer real stories with humanity seeping out of the stitches. Do yourselves a favor give Cake a listen if they haven’t been on your radar in years, or you just never bothered to dig deep. These dudes are a buffet of sounds – they’ve got it all and fuck, all of it’s so good.

The Past Poop of Country Music: June 30, 2008

A ratings system based on poop emojis seems right in our wheelhouse, so here you go. This is the Mediabase Top 20 country songs from the week Farce the Music came online, June 30, 2008.

Poop is bad. Not-Poop is good. The potential worst rating is 5 poop emojis. The potential best is 5 not-poop emojis. Here's Trailer's opinion of each song. Enjoy!     (...?)

The Past Poop Rating of this Mediabase Top 20 is 1 POOP EMOJI (or -1) overall. The best song was Kenny Chesney's "Better as a Memory." The worst was Lost Trailers' "Holler Back," which was a precursor to bro-country. Please read Country Perspective's Current Pulse for a different perspective, more class, and better insight.

Chart from Country Aircheck / Mediabase.

Pop Country Fan eCards: Oct. '16

These are actual YouTube comments from fans of Jason Aldean, Chris Lane, and Kane Brown.