Hashtag Games: #wrestlingcountrysongs

WWF "Country Singer" Jeff Jarrett performs "With My Baby Tonight"

 Hashtag Games: #WrestlingCountrySongs


Thanks to our Twitter friends for helping out with this "hashtag game," combining wrestling-related stuff with country song titles. As you will see, @toomuchcountry had a lot of fun with this.
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Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Luchadors

Take This Foot and Shove It (Up Your Candy Ass)

Feed Jake the Snake - @straitshooter13

Hello Walls of Jericho

All My Rowdy Friends Are Having a Cage Match Tonight

♫ Solie, Solie, Solie, Solieeeee / Please don't pin him just because you can ♫ - @toomuchcountry

Stand By Your McMahon  - @DHWritesCountry

Seven Spanish Announce Tables

Chill of an Early Fall Brawl

Will the Squared Circle Be Unbroken - @toomuchcountry

A Boy Named Shinsuke

Rated "DX"

Goodbye Earl Hebner

There Ought to Be a Lawler (by Billy "Smash Craddock) - @toomuchcountry

The Stone Cold Hard Truth

Sea of Heartbreak Kid - @Bocephus50

Smoky Mountain Reigns

Punjabi Prison Blues

Honky Tonk Man (no change)

Diamond Dallas Rings & Old Barstools - @toomuchcountry

She Thinks His Name Was John Cena

Bigger Than Breezango

Save A Horseman by Big and Tommy Rich - @toomuchcountry

Shawn Michaels Lost His Smile

Starrcades Over Texas

Cross Rhodes Anthem

Might As Well Get Stone Cold Steve Austin - @DHWritesCountry

Mississippi Moonsault

Whiskey Bent and Hell's Gate

Andre From Montgomery - @toomuchcountry

Kurt Angles Among Us

If We Make It Through December to Dismember

Stand By Your Mankind - @peliti27

Are You Sure Hulk Done It This Way?

New Video: Hank Jr. and Eric Church

Monday Morning Memes: Michael Ray, FGL, Bocephus, etc.

 

By Jeremy Harris

Which Hank?

Hank Prognosticates

I'm Sorry, This Exists: Christmas 2014 Edition

Here are some bizarre country (and 1 rock) music-related products, 

memorabilia and whatnot you can buy or gawk at this holiday season.

Really disgusting Luke Bryan panties

Mama failed. ("Mama Tried" thong)

Autographed baseball from renowned stars of the diamond, Rascal Flatts

Autographed Big & Rich panties.

Florida-Georgia Line prayer candles. You're going to hell if you buy these.

A vintage Aaron Tippin muscle shirt which is actually pretty awesome

A hideous personalized Brantley Gilbert shirt

Classy!

Lady A earrings for the girl or progressive fellow with three ears

A Megadeth bib for the headbanging rugrat in your life

This Scotty McCreery fried chicken ad

And... this "A Country Boy Can Survive" inspired taxidermy sculpture

We Are Bro Country

We Are Bro-Country

(Lyric parody of Hank Jr's "Young Country")

We are bro-country, we are bad ass

Illegitimate children of inbred white trash

Our hair might be faux-hawked, jeans glittered and spiked

We know how to get drunk and go lookin' for fights 

We know what's tight, glass pack exhaust

And if you don't like it, I'll punch you, boss

We name drop the old stuff, but we only like new

And we do our own rappin', blue jean booty slappin'

If you're offended, F you

We are bro country, we ain't too bright

Our music and lifestyles, are big piles of shite

We don't have diplomas, or shirts that fit right

but we know how to bang skanks come Saturday night 

We like Eminem, we get faded to EDM

We like Lil Wayne and Jay-Z and T-Pain

Old Hank would be sick, wait who is old Hank?

We like our country mixed with hip-hop and stank

We are bro-country, we have no pride

Except in our bench press and sweet jacked up rides

Kid Rock would be proud and Fred Durst give props

'cause we like our country with drum loops and bass drops

We like to smoke bowls, we like to roll coal

Don't like it? F u!

Sunday Mornin' Music: Hank Jr.

Luke and FGL Just Won't Stop

This Is How We Roll (feat. Luke Bryan) - Florida Georgia Line - Lyrics

Happy Hanksgiving! (Hank Jr.)

Lyrical Satirical: This Song is for Summer

This Song Is For Summer

©2013 FTM Satire

Aw hell yeah it's summer again

Time to drop a tailgate with your redneck friends

Text up some honeys in cut off jeans

Sugar shaker, donkadonk, know what I mean?

Crank some Lil Wayne in a country mood

Pass around some moonshine we bought at Whole Foods

Let's get rowdy like Hank would do

Hey, check out my new Duck Dynasty tattoo

Chorus

This song is for summer, y'all

Those three months after spring and just before fall

Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber

Crank it on up in the summer summer summer

Yeehaw boys, yeah I got some swag

Got a Mud Life sticker and truck nutz that drag

Old farts hatin' cause I drop some rhymes

But that's how we do country in the summertime

Shotgun, old truck, some other cliche

Gather round the fire and I'll sing you some Kanye

Feet on the dash, let the night commence

Who cares if this tune doesn't make any sense?

This song is for summer, y'all

Those three months after spring and just before fall

Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber

Crank it on up in the summer summer summer

Bridge (spoken)

And now a word from our sponsor:

It's hot out there while you're partying with your homeyz

Try something a little different!

Bud Light Lime.

It's Bud Light, with a twist!

Back to this song for summer, son

Put it out in March so it's a June number one

Have to spell it out cause my fans are dumber

Crank it on up in the summer summer summer

Sunday Mornin' Music: Travis Tritt, Hank Jr. & Marty Stuart

Little Known Facts: Feb. '13

Because of his arrest in 2006 for the "I'm Hank Williams Jr bitch!" thing, Hank had to cancel a WWE cage match for the Backlash pay per view against Natalie Maines since it caused him to miss his ride to the walkthrough.

Dee Snider is a touring backup singer for Brantley Gilbert.

Blake Shelton has never tweeted under the influence of anything other than pure stupidity.

The latest U.S. census revealed that one of George Strait's exes had moved to Arkansas from Texas.

Gary Levox is actually Mike Myers in a fat-suit.

72% of all people at a Eric Church concert purchased their boots within a week of the show. 100% of those people will take them off and hold them above their heads when he plays "These Boots".

Martina McBride broke a lounge chair over a roadie's head when she found out George Strait wasn't opening for her on The Cowboy Rides Away tour.

Florida-Georgia Line's name is a reference to the gambling addiction they both share.

Chad Brock was the second choice for this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show.

When you hear a new country hit mention Hank, it is referring to Hank Garland 92.7% of the time.

David Allan Coe has never dyed his beard, but he has had a history of mold problems.

Brantley Gilbert will be Jana Kramer's third husband before age 30. Also her first marriage to a troll-boy.

Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" is actually a detailed list of the payola required to get airplay on a country music radio station.

Zac Brown has a beanie beard-net he wears when preparing food before concerts.


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*Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these!

Little Known Facts Jan. 2013

The 2012 average wage of a Brantley Gilbert fan is $9,078.
Hank Jr fan - $16,231 but would've been much higher with a republican in the White House.
Kid Rock fan -  NA (No filings recorded with the IRS.)
Avett Brothers - $0 due to all being stay at home moms

Plans for a life size Justin Moore action figure were scrapped by Hasbro when the only prototype was dropped down a heating vent.

Even without music Gary Levox would be wealthy due to him selling his chocolate fountain design to Golden Corral.

An Australian newscaster once asked Jamey Johnson what a honky tonk badonkadonk was. Anyone that has information on the whereabouts of the reporter, please contact the Sydney Police Department.

Colt Ford controls the market price of all poultry in the USA based solely on his appetite.

Due to his preferred choice of pants, Luke Bryan's penis is six inches wide but only 1/16 of an inch thick.

Brantley Gilbert spent over $42,000 on removal of misspelled tattoos in 2012 alone.

The guys in Florida-Georgia Line were actually born in Delaware and Rhode Island, respectively.

Scott Borchetta's hair care routine consists of a regular professional wash and conditioning (the latter in the blood of a half dozen puppies).

Bucky Covington writed dis fakt purseonly.


*Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these.

YouTube Gems: Johnny Cash Tribute

There will be a tribute to Willie Nelson on tonight's CMA Awards. Unfortunately, it probably won't be as good as this Cash tribute from 2003.

Hank Williams Jr. Political Ad

Monday Morning Morpheus Memes

Why 1979 Was Better Than 2012

Lower Broadway Country Bar Cover Singer - A New Meme

New meme alert, and this time, it's a Farce the Music exclusive. Thanks to @truersound, the guy who used to run this great blog before he let the weeds grow up through the '85 Dodge on blocks, for coming up with this idea and 2 of the 3 memes. Here is "Lower Broadway Country Bar Cover Singer."

Honest Hank Jr. Radio Ad