Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Apr 23, 2019

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews George Strait’s New Single




Ayyyyeee, it’s been a while but I’m back! Been going through some stuff but I think their going to let me off with probation.

Anyway, Trailer got me reviewing this new George Straight song like he’s doing me a favor. I know he’s supposed to be the king or whatever, but he’s just a pretty boy too me. Women talk about how good he looks in his jeans… you know who else they say that about? Luke Bryant! Same thing to me. Ain’t neither one of ‘em gonna sing you a song about roping steers on the western ridge while hoping nobody finds you’re wife’s body in that ravine you left her in. That’s real country!!! Not some shaking it or getting carried away bullshit!



George Straight can’t even write a song. What a fraud LMAO! Claims to be authentic but than he sings another man’s words? I can’t have any respect for a “supposed legend” like that. Good honest writers live there songs and then they write about it. Like Colter Damn Wall! I know he spent many a night sleeping on the hard ground with a dead rattlesnake as his pillow. He wrote his own songs so you know that’s true. George on the other hand spends his nights in silk sheets in a five million dollar house with his Prius parked outside. What a joke! Might as well be Florida-Georgia Line too me!

If I met George Straight, I’d spray him in the face with a full can of mace. He’s as much too blame for country being shitty now as Garth Brooks and Randy Travis (another pretty boy who didn’t write every single song by himself like your suppose too!). 


I didn’t even listen to this song. I guess it’s about how he likes too drink fruity cocktails and play parcheesi in the upscale bars he visits when he’s trying to sell them his Codigo tequila. He’ll probably stand up on a stage in Las Vegas, not playing his guitar, looking all handsome and singing another man’s song and make another million dollars to put in a Starbucks for his horses or some shit. This guy sucks.




Paint Me a Birmingham


Florida-Georgia Line as Toilets










Apr 22, 2019

Some People Need a Good Slappin'


Fake News Classic: Justin Moore Concert Cut “Short”

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, September 22, 2009 
At last month's Sturgis Bike Rally in Sturgis, SD, abridged-stature country singer Justin Moore was forced to leave the stage mid-concert due to the unruly crowd. Moore, who just celebrated his first #1 song with "Small Town USA," was unable to perform over the wave of raucous laughter which began halfway through his song "I Could Kick Your Ass," so he unceremoniously exited with several minutes left in his set. 

"I couldn't help it," snickered North Carolina motorcycle enthusiast Clyde 'Bonegrinder' McGee. "I mean, the song was okay, but really? Really? That joker couldn't be more than 4 foot 9. He couldn't kick my lady friend's ass." "I've taken dumps bigger than him," laughed Murder City Riders Motor Club president Remus Barksdale, "and I thought country music was supposed to be about authenticity." 

The show got off to a promising start in the first half, with the crowd even singing along by the end of "Back That Thang Up" and waving flags patriotically through "Good Ol' American Way." However, things went south by the second chorus of "I Could Kick Your Ass." 

"I wasn't sure I'd heard him right the first time, but when he sang it again... 'I could kick your ass, I could jack your jaw'... I 'bout wet myself," said Linda Morrow of Chicago from atop her gleaming Harley Fat Boy. "He's a cute little thang, but jeez, you're standing on a phone book to reach the mic, dude." 

Laughter began from near the tattoo stand and spread like wildfire, drowning out the band and the elfin singer in a matter of seconds. Moore valiantly attempted to finish the song, but ultimately could not hear himself well enough to continue. Despite the chaos and scattered reports of sides injured from too much laughter, no one was arrested at the concert. 

Moore declined comment, but his management says there are no plans to make up the date in the short term. 


Monday Morning Memes: Kane Brown, Kenny Rogers




Apr 19, 2019

Well, She Tried...


Superstore Country Reaction Gifs

Actual footage of Jason Aldean proposing

Cliché #1 in every Kane Brown fan's repertoire

When the ACM Awards went off

When you observe a FGL fan at the register trying to figure out whether to buy the cigarettes or the baby food when they don't have enough money for both 

You don't like Tyler Childers?

Me, when somebody whose opinion I usually agree with says Luke Bryan's "Knockin' Boots" is pretty good

What mainstream country station managers heard when somebody mentioned Lil Nas X being on the charts

When Dina's showing a Mitchell Tenpenny video in the break room

Americana Singer Starter Pack


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