Farce the Music: Taylor Swift

Showing posts with label Taylor Swift. Show all posts

Nov 18, 2014

Album Warning Labels: FGL, Nickelback, Taylor Swift, etc.

Nov 12, 2014

Little Known Facts: November '14

Taylor Swift actually pulled her music from Spotify because they

refused to deliver her royalty payments in gold bullion.

After reading the bio for Florida Georgia Line,

Ray Wylie Hubbard has decided to drop his last name.

Luke Bryan celebrated his CMA Entertainer of the Year victory by drinking

Smirnoff Ice from his John Denver tumbler, wearing a Ronnie Milsap t-shirt.

Sam Hunt is so country, the first song he remembers loving

is "Cotton-Eyed Joe" (the Rednex dance remix).

While Kacey Musgraves may be the most recent, Conway Twitty will always

be known as the first panty dropper to perform with Loretta Lynn.

Thanks to the rising popularity of Brantley Gilbert, the name 'Brantley'

has risen to number one on the list of misspelled baby names for 2014.

Sturgill Simpson doesn't have to do hard drugs anymore.

He already did so many that they're still in his system.

Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel decided to cancel an upcoming Keith Urban concert at U.S.

Cellular Field because of concerns of violence giving the city's south side a bad reputation.

Kimberly from Little Big Town gets her hair done at

Kristine's Pet Grooming before every awards show.

When Shooter Jennings visits Hattie B's Hot Chicken in Nashville,

they always bring him the usual: a booster seat.

Wynonna Judd recently settled out of court on a copyright

infringement lawsuit case against Tan Mom.

Jason Aldean has legally committed to an upcoming tour with Kenny Chesney

but is secretly considering a tour with a younger, skankier artist.

Toby Keith's tour rider calls for a case of Budweiser and a cold cuts tray.

Miranda Lambert's requires bottled water, a veggie tray and soft towels.

Chase Rice's calls for 6 Four Lokos and a stripper.

By Trailer & Jeremy Harris

Nov 5, 2014

Make Your Own Taylor Swift 1989 Album Cover

This is kinda old news, but you can still go have some fun with this if you want---> http://www.buzzfeed.com/games/make-your-own-taylor-swift-album-cover

Justin Moore and Brantley Gilbert made their own!

I'm not sure why he looked 35 in 1989, but whatever...

Oct 31, 2014

Country Horror Movie Posters IV: Psycho

Sep 30, 2014

Formerly Cool DJ Shows His True Colors

I thought this guy was on our side, but his Aircheck interview shows otherwise. Shame.

Sep 11, 2014

Little Known Facts: September '14

Lefty Frizzell was ambidextrous.

Creed's Scott Stapp considered making a country album but decided

against it because "the scene is just too douchey right now."

For every number 1 single Rascal Flatts has Gary Levox

celebrates by literally adding a notch to his belt.

Due to his reputation for making subpar music Chris Gaines decided

to make his comeback under the stage name Garth Brooks.

Justin Moore started singing country music after his "little luchador"

career ended with a mis-timed hurricanrana.

Thanks to quick actions from a bystander who applied pressure to the wound,

the man Johnny Cash shot in Reno lived until 2007.

Taylor Swift says she hasn't dated in over a year, so her next album

will be entirely about collecting cats and eating Blue Bell by the quart.

Little Big Town is a bad good band.

Each year, Lee Greenwood goes into hibernation

from November 12 through the last Sunday in May.

Sam Hunt is so country, he once got barbecue sauce on his vintage mesh yellow polo.

Jason Brown changed his name to Colt Ford to avoid being confused with his younger brother Chris Brown.

Despite FTM's constant jokes, Brantley Gilbert has only tried meth once and he didn't like it.

(Then he tried it 64 more times and didn't like it any of those times either.)

On the grounds of Toby Keith's Norman, OK farm/estate, there is a life-sized bronze statue of Toby Keith.

By Trailer and Jeremy Harris

Sep 1, 2014

This Song Sucks: Taylor Swift - Shake It Off

Monday Morning Memes: Blake Shelton, Taylor Swift, etc.

By Mike McDermott

Aug 29, 2014

FTM Fantasy Football Team Names

The NFL gets rolling next week, so it's fantasy draft time! I only have 2 fantasy teams this year. That's low for me.... They're named "Blake Shelton's Ego" and "Reptile Aliens Made of Light." Here are some other suggested music-related fantasy football team names by me and some of FTM's Facebook and Twitter pals. You're welcome to steal them because you probably aren't in the same leagues...

Willie's Buds
Stand By Your Manziel
Do the Sankey Legg -Russell Parmele
The Hell Mama Raised
Cash's Walk the Liners -Ray Weaver
Call Me the Brees
The Men (or Women) in Black
Lawrence Taylor Swift -Perry Brown (of Fire Mountain)
Don't Come Around Here Romo
Touchdown Troubadours
Boy Named Suh
You Never Even Called Me Legedu Naanee
Honky Tonk Heroes
Gridiron Maiden -Scott Bumpus
Wake Me Up Before You Romo -Joe Fink

Montee Mountain High
Sunday Manning Coming Down -Ryan Depew
She Likes the Bortles (And I Like the Stones) -Ryan Depew
Black Sheep of the Fantasy League
Florida Georgia Linebackers -Mike Holcomb
Gimme Three Downs
Talkin' Seattle Seahawks Blues
Manning, I Feel Like a Woman -Andrew Lacy
Don't Rocca the Jukebox
Bad Bad Cleveland Browns -Matt Bjorke
Don't Cry For Me, Joe Montana -Matt Bjorke
The Snake Farmers
Taylor Swift's Red Zone -Jeremy Plotkin
C.J. Spiller's Still the King
Forte Good Times
Retribution Honkytonkists -Gahteeriffico
Me & Robby G
Let There Be Gronk
Shit Mountain KingTurds -'Rev' Brian T Sloane
Third Rate Romo
Tom Brady & The Heartbreakers
LeSean Remains the Same
Welker to the Jungle -Kenny Graves
The Age of Demaryius -Kenny Graves
Mrs. Stevan Ridley
The Whiskey (Phillip) Rivers
Ballou Ballers -Rita Ballou
Amendola by Morning

*I would include one entry by my good friend Anthony Mayhan, but it was a bit too un-PC.