Showing posts with label bro country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bro country. Show all posts

Mar 30, 2017

The Walking Dead: Country Memes

The Walking Dead season 7 finale is this Sunday.... at the same time as the ACMs and Wrestlemania. Choose wisely. Anyway, here are some new TWD country memes.

Feb 24, 2017

If These Pop Hits Were Bro-Country

Ed Sheeran - Shape of You
Come over in that short skirt and holler at me
Those red cherry lips got me like wow
Take my hand, dance, to Luke Bryan on the jukebox
And then we go to the truck, and now I'm like what what

Chainsmokers ft. Halsey - Closer
So, hey girl, pull me closer
In the back seat of my Raptor
Migos rattling my Ford
Tribal tattoo on my shoulder

Migos - Bad and Boujee
Black top, truck stop (truck stop)
Turning in a field where the girls hot (hot hot)
Light up a bonfire, the party hop hop hop (hop)
Pass the Fireball, I want a shot (shot)


Lady Gaga - Million Reasons
Country girl in my Chevy, got one hand on the wheel
If you could see it my way, You'd let me grab a feel
Girl your fresh produce is always in season


The Weeknd - Starboy
I'm tryna get you in the right mood, yep
Riding cleaner than some new boots, yep
Those tan lines and eyes of blue, yep
Got me wanting to go screw, yep


Sam Hunt - Body Like a Back Road 
***no changes***
Got a girl from the south side, got braids in her hair
First time I seen her walk by, man I 'bout fell off my chair
Had to get her number, it took me like six weeks
Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats

Jan 25, 2017

Tom T. Hall Goes Bro-Country

 I Love
(Parody of Tom T. Hall's "I Love")

I love Powerstrokin' trucks, Swingin' truck nutz
Wearin' camo tanks, and skanks
I love blinding LEDs, wearin' skinny jeans
Calling people gay, Axe spray
And I love big boobs

I love tatted up skin, Instagrammed rear ends
T-shirts of Merle, but not Merle
I love Fireball in a cup, getting turnt up
Miller in a glass, and ass
And I love big boobs

I love making bitches smile, rolling coal for miles
Watching fights on Vine and stuntin'
I love unprotected sex, not sending child support checks
Music when it's Drake and Plies
And I love sweet nudes

Dec 13, 2016

Rockin' Around in Skinny Jeans

(I wrote a whole Christmas song parody around @fiveoletsgo 's title.)

Rocking Around in Skinny Jeans
(FTM Lyrical Satirical) 

Rocking around in skinny jeans

at the Christmas party, brah

Some mistletoe hung where chicks can see

It's hanging above my crotch

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Makes the chain on my wallet ring

Later we'll do some body shots

and auto-tuned caroling

You will feel just like a Yuletime baller

When you hear, voices holler

"Let's be merry; Pour me some Goose and cranberry"

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Have a lit ol' holiday

Everyone stumble drunkenly

Round a bonfire of stolen crates

You will feel a little something something

When you see fists are pumping

"Crank some Future; pour a line of Fireball shooters"

Rocking around in skinny jeans

Now it's time to spit some game

Take this ho ho ho dancing merrily

To my jacked up Christmas sleigh

Nov 16, 2016

Who's Gonna Fill 'em?

I'm getting so (old and) forgetful, I wrote this without recalling we'd already posted something 
similar in the past (as if we don't recycle jokes daily). Anyway, my version more closely fits 
the real lyrics and contains current details, even if Marilyn Branson's is funnier and has the 
benefit of a great tune and production (below my lyrics).

 Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes
(A parody of George Jones' "Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes")

You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To get it crunk up when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your bro country heroes
Like the cornball that wears those skinny jeans

No, there will never be another
Fat-headed Jason
Face painted black and fist bumping dudes
The dopey Voice host Okie
No what up darlin'
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And sound so auto-tuned
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

God bless the boy from Georgia
Grinding with his pelvis
Singing about shaking it and beers
He sure rocks those skinnies
And really crashed the party
And "That's My Kind of Night" brings me to tears

You know the heart of bro country music
Still beats in Brantley Gilbert
Echoes cross that Florida-Georgia Line
Ol' Hubbard and Brian Kelley
Why I can feel them right here with me
In this chromed out Raptor rolling through the night

Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna yell yeehaw!
Who's gonna sing of hotties
And drinking sweet Fireball
Who's gonna show us how they roll
And take us on a cruise
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

Yes I wonder, who's gonna be a douche?

Oct 6, 2016

Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next


To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!

(and it's a top 11)

Top 11 Upcoming Topics For 
Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts

11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams. 

10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane. 

9. Bambi's mom was an inside job. 

8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?

7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts. 

6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.

5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why. 

4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light. 

3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!

2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners. 

1. Billy Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode. (This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)

-by Jeremy Harris

Jun 28, 2016

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Summer Classics

FTM ponders what these classic summer hits would have sounded like 
if Dallas Davidson or any of his compadres had written them...
The Lovin' Spoonful - Summer in the City
Don't care bout summer in the city
Spent my whole check on Bud Light and a Yeti
Leave town, cranking up some Diddy
Ain't it sweet to have a girl who's drunk and pretty

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince - Summertime
And think of the summers chasing ass
Connect the Bluetooth and let the Beats™ Pill blast
Or plug my aux cord and let G-Eazy rhyme and put your truck
In mud, get a dip, 'cause this is summertime

Bananarama - Cruel Summer
Hot country beats
On the gravel we're swerving
Are you down?
Trying to score but
The beer got me wanting to fight
Dwight Yoakam is playing
(Wait, who is that?)
Nah, play some Gucci Mane
Getting loose in the country
This heat got her
Right out her jeans

It's a lit (lit) lit summer
Let's shoot some nudes on my phone
It's a lit (lit) lit summer
Get it on
Don Henley - Boys of Summer

Down on the farm today, I saw a deadmau5 sticker on a Chevrolet

I can see you-
Your tan lines glowin' in the sun
You got that ass dropped down and those blue Costas on, baby
And I can tell you I'll keep your number in my phone
After the bros of summer have gone

LFO - Summer Girls
(no changes)

Jun 10, 2016

The Truth About Country Pasture Parties in 2016

2016 Country Throwdown
(Drunk People Looking at Their Phones)
©2016 Farce the Music Satires

I've seen all those videos
Booty shaking girls and bros
All dancing around a big ol' bonfire
That's something I would like to see
And Billy Dukes invited me
So I put gravel underneath my tires

Got out past the county line
Dreaming of hotties and shine
Cold ones loaded in a Yeti I just bought
Followed that big cloud of dust
Crossed the ditch and there I was
Ready to throw down and this is what I saw

Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
Buncha Country Outfitter clones
One guy cranking a Yeezy song
and drunk people looking at their phones

Girls weren't shaking what they had
Just tapping screens and looking mad
No keg stands, nobody kicking up their boots
Bros weren't fighting, causing scenes
Just sharing "crying Jordan" memes
Shook my head thinkin' "Is this what's it's all come to?"

Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
Circle of trucks with their shining chrome
One guy cranking a 2 Chainz song
and drunk people looking at their phones

I need a word with Mr. Luke Bryan
and I guess Florida-Georgia's lyin'
Cause all I see is

Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
No skinny dipping, no punches thrown
Just one guy cranking a Sam Hunt song
and drunk people looking at their phones

Dec 17, 2015

Country Style!

Law of natural selection at work.

Here's a satirical lyric sent to us by singer/songwriter Jeff Przech. You can almost hear Cole Swindell singing if you just imagine...

And go check out Jeff's music here! His 2015 album Sounds Like Fresh is a catchy mix of Americana, alt-country, and pop rock.

(To the tune of… pretty much anything else on country radio….)

Moonlight shines down on the lake and over to the sand
Passes right through these Corona bottles, got one in each hand
I’ll take off my white t-shirt so you can’t see the stain
And if your peach wine cooler tastes like roofies, darlin’, that I can’t explain

There’s a lake right here in front of us, why don’t we jump right in
And I’ll find a place on that bod of yours the mosquitoes haven’t been

Doin’ it Country Style, gettin’ wild, girl you look so fine
Like a breakfast special at the Cracker Barrel for $7.99
Do it Country Style, wet and wild, girl we got it made
And it don’t bother me that you just passed the seventh grade
That’s Country Style

Watch them Daisy Dukes with eyes wide open as they slide down past your knees
See them goosebumps rising on your ass caused by the summer breeze
The wind is warm but the water’s gold, damn that’s just my luck
Now the only nuts you’ll see are the ones that are hanging off my truck

The night is hot and so am I so girl, don’t make me wait
All over you like the Nascar sticker on my Chevrolet tailgate

Gonna do it Country Style, gettin’ wild, girl you look so fine
Like the high school football team I’m gonna touchdown on you tonight
Do it Country Style, wet and wild, girl you make me wanna sing
Have another shot of this Fireball and you won’t feel a thing
That’s Country Style

(90’s Alt Rock Guitar solo)

Got my ball cap pulled down nice and low, think I’ve had enough
I should be at that Florida Georgia line by the time that you wake up
Baby I got your number but don’t be waitin’ for me to call
Three and a half minutes of magic is what you get and that’s all

Do it Country Style, gettin’ wild, girl you look so fine
Don’t you message me if you happen to see those pics I took online
Do it Country Style, wet and wild, girl we got it made
Me and my bros and the redneck hoes throwin’ up some shade
That’s Country Style
That’s Country Style


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