Showing posts with label Jamey Johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamey Johnson. Show all posts

Jan 6, 2016

Country Singer/Professional Wrestler Equivalents

Florida-Georgia Line = New Age Outlaws
Douchey, popular due to hype more than talent, spray tans, wear underwear in public

Shooter Jennings = Spike Dudley
Scrappy, famous last name, under 5'8"

Carrie Underwood = Trish Stratus
Honest, talented, Vegan, ascended to the heights of her chosen profession, generally liked by all

Jamey Johnson = CM Punk
Outsider with insider ties, subversive, loved by the "smart" fans of his chosen profession, left the mainstream to pursue other options that seemingly will never come to fruition

Luke Bryan = John Cena
Seems like a nice guy, says dumb stuff in public, loved and hated in equal amounts, limited move set, A-lister approaching middle age, makes a living shaking ass

Brantley Gilbert = Buff Bagwell
Inexplicably popular, earrings, chains, facial hair, douchey, meathead

Chad Brock = Chad Brock
Wait, that's the same guy...

Oct 28, 2015

Which Hogwarts House Do These Country Stars Belong In?

Just kidding. Nobody gives a damn about that. 
Here are some Sam Hunt vs. Jamey Johnson memes.

Apr 23, 2015

Single Review: Willie & Merle - It's All Going to Pot

by Jamie Berryhill

Willie and Merle can do whatever they want. Clearly! They don't need your approval, or anyone else's for that matter! Federales included!

 "It's All Going To Pot," Written by Buddy Cannon, Jamey Johnson, and Larry Shell, is the first release from the iconic duo's upcoming duets album, Django And Jimmie. It is solid gold! Acapulco Gold, even! See what I did there? The video is incredible, and the song is a brilliantly crafted story of their favorite pastime, intertwined with clever lyrics and playful potshots at each other! I can't stop with the pot salvos! The song is a veritable celebration of the increasingly legal intoxicant, after all!

Both of these legendary troubadours are clearly still at the top of their game, and they delivered another top notch performance here!  The instrumentation is classic, and professional. Willie's famous guitar tone and phrasing is alive and well, as is Merle's. They just work well together! They get paid well together also, and I think we all know where their money goes!

Jamey Johnson's recognizable baritone voice can be heard as well, thickening up the vocal sound in spots on the track. The video has already racked up millions of views on social media sites across the Internet, and is sure to be a classic!

"It's All Going to Pot" is available now on iTunes, and other outlets. The rest of the album is for pre-order only at this time. See what all the buzz is about right here, via YouTube, and enjoy! I surely did!

Mar 31, 2015

The Best Country Show Ever?

The lineup for Willie Nelson's 2015 4th of July Picnic has been released and it may be the strongest collection of country music talent that has been amassed in ages (decades? ever?). Not even listed on the following poster are Billy Joe Shaver, David Allan Coe, Chris Stapleton and Johnny Bush. Good grief. Road trip? (Oh, and the Billy Bob's 2-day 4th of July fest looks damn good too!)

Nov 19, 2014

New Jamey Johnson Christmas Music!

Featuring the holiday classics:

The Christmas Beard
All I Want for Christmas is My Alien OG
I Saw Santa Staring at Mommy's Badonkadonk
Kid Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
 Come Home for Christmas (or Kiss My Ass)
Stoned for the Holidays
I Hope My Record Company Gets Run Over by a Reindeer

Jul 22, 2014

FTM Praise: The Kiss of Commercial Death

With Jon Pardi's "What I Can't Put Down" struggling to find footing on the charts, I came to this realization. You can pretty much guarantee that if Farce the Music really likes a mainstream country single, the song will not have a whiff of the top 10 on the country charts. Don't believe me? Here are some commercial country singles we enjoyed, and their peaks on the US Country Chart.

Chris Young "Neon" - 23 (2012)

Sunny Sweeney "Staying's Worse Than Leaving" - 38 (2011)

Chris Stapleton "What Are You Listening To" - 46 (2013)

Charlie Worsham "Want Me Too" - 46 (2014)

Lee Ann Womack "Solitary Thinkin'" - 39 (2009)

Alan Jackson  "So You Don't Have to Love Me Anymore" - 25 (2012)

Kacey Musgraves "Blowin' Smoke" - 31 (2013)

Gary Allan "It Ain't the Whiskey" - 40 (2013)

Julie Roberts "Wake Up Older" - 46 (2005)

Brandy Clark "Stripes" - (did not chart) (2013)

Dierks Bentley "Draw Me a Map" - 33 (2010)

Little Big Town "Your Side of the Bed" - 29 (2013)

David Nail "Sound of a Million Dreams" - 38 (2012)

Ronnie Dunn "Cost of Livin'" - 19 (2011)

Jamey Johnson (All singles 2009-2012) - 34, 52, 39, 51, DNC

Emily West "Blue Sky" - 38 (2010)

George Strait "Drinkin' Man" - 37 (2012)

Kellie Pickler "Someone Somewhere Tonight" - (did not chart) (2013)

Apr 24, 2014

On Garth's Comeback

Garth Brooks Comeback
& How On Earth Did Everything Get This Weird?
-Kelcy Salisbury

This was a reply I made to a non-country music loving friend of mine on Facebook. It's unedited so I take responsibility for all typos & nonsense. Thank you Kelly Manning for pushing this to the front of my mind. 
Garth Brooks looks like a St Bernard that wears a cowboy hat. But yeah, he was kind of a big deal I guess. I'd still trade him & Clint Black to get Chris LeDoux (the guy Garth pretty well copied his live show from & that's not meant as a slam on Garth) back on this earth. 

I'll admit, after I saw your post, I actually watched a good bit of it. I was a little disappointed that he basically only played snippets of songs, but he was personable & engaging & wasn't wearing girl jeans or earrings (cough, Luke Bryan, cough Jason Aldean) and he wasnt using AutoTune, and he carried a show with just him, a guitar & whatever chemical assistance was used...I mean seriously dude, you should NOT be that excited about Jackson Browne! There's some Bolivian Marching Powder involved in that. Jackson Browne doesn't get that excited about his own songs! 

I'm pretty interested to see what his next career move is, whether he ever actually drops a new album & what it sounds like. Commercial country music is flailing & drowning in red ink, thus the increasing willingness to throw gimmicks out there & desperately hope one sticks. I'm sorry but Jawga Boyz, FL/GA Line, and about 3/4 of the content on any given hour of CMT programming is not country music, or even anything resembling good music. There's talent in the genre, but it's largely pop talent marketed as (sort of) country (Taylor Swift), relegated to the sidelines because the record companies will not allow them to make & release to radio the music they want (Jamey Johnson) or reduced to making ridiculously bad country-rap parodies (PLEASE tell me that "Boys Round Here" is a parody) like Blake Shelton, Luke Bryan (who is a world class jerk & has an unnerving fetish for dry humping drum kits in a drunken fit of mid-concert copulation fever), Jason Aldean or nearly any male star not named George Strait or Zac Brown.

Folks might not be aware of it, but radio playlists have gotten smaller as Clear Channel has snatched up stations, removed local DJ talent from the equation & created a monopoly of terrestrial radio. As the value of radio airplay dwindles the industry has basically shot itself in the foot (with #00 buckshot) by promoting as stars people who can't sing without computer assistance or engage a crowd or do many other things a star should be able to do. When people are exposed to the true musical talent of even a mediocre musician like Garth (GREAT showman & marketer though), it makes the posturing & pandering of the current Nashville wasteland look every bit as hollow & silly as it is. 

When an artist like Jamey Johnson can have the track record of success that he had with That Lonesome Song & The Guitar Song but he STILL can't get into a contract that allows him to choose 100% of his own material there is a huge problem, it's 1970 Nashville all over again & the outsiders are still out there, ready to make people care about country music again. It's coming, and while the standard bearers of the movement (The Great Divide, Bob Childers, Pinto Bennett on through Reckless Kelly, Jason Boland & The Stragglers, Ragweed & a few others) are either no longer performing together or not ideally positioned to be the next wave of truly great country music that achieves commercial success, there is a second generation ready & waiting & they are gonna make some noise when they get on the dance card. The current structure of commercial country music is so far overdue for collapse that it could implode in the next 10 seconds & nobody would be surprised. This means that bands that are accustomed to owning their own material, beating down the highway & playing live 200 nights a year are going to be ideally positioned for success. My money would be on Turnpike Troubadours as probably the smartest bet. They've got the chops, they're still quite young, and their grassroots following stretches world wide & grows daily. There will be plenty of competition, and it could be that they won't even want the crown, should it be offered, I just find it amazing that we have actually reached a point where GARTH BROOKS of all folks could be the tipping point that moves country music in a direction that's better for the music & the artists. If this comes to pass I will personally get a Chris Gaines poster for my office. 

Jan 7, 2014

It Was So Cold in Nashville Yesterday...

John Rich had to stay home and get plastered

158 hotties wearing cut-offs died of exposure

Luke Bryan had to pull out the skinny long-johns

Gary Levox had to have a gravy boat frozen to his tongue removed by the fire department

Wynonna turned bluish orange

Dallas Davidson wrote a song called "Ho on My Snowmobile"

Taylor Swift had to break up with boyfriends by text message

Brantley Gilbert fans had to warm themselves with meth lab burners

Justin Moore was lost in a 4" snow drift

Jamey Johnson slipped and shattered his beard

May 7, 2013

Little Known Facts: May '13

LL Cool J's next single will be titled "Accidental Sellout".

Justin Moore only wears a cowboy hat for one reason. To protect his soft spot.

If you stare into a mirror and repeat "Little Debbie" three times, Gary Levox will appear.

The Brantley Gilbert fact for this month has been edited out by Trailer due to not being offensive enough.

The only two boobs in music bigger than those belonging to Dolly Parton 
are the two singing in Florida Georgia Line.

Curb Records is no longer adding new artists to its roster, only lawyers.

While has been accused of hacking one time, is accused of being written by hacks daily.

94% of all Robert Earl Reed music that is purchased is by people 
attempting to buy a Robert Earl Keen album.

Travis Tritt still receives counseling due to his emotional scars from an early 90's feud with Billy Ray Cyrus.

The Zac Brown Band's tour bus sleeps 20. The remaining band members usually get a hotel.

The reward for taking a picture of Jamey Johnson crying in public 
is you get beaten to death by Jamey Johnson.

Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these.

Jan 3, 2013

Little Known Facts Jan. 2013

The 2012 average wage of a Brantley Gilbert fan is $9,078.
Hank Jr fan - $16,231 but would've been much higher with a republican in the White House.
Kid Rock fan -  NA (No filings recorded with the IRS.)
Avett Brothers - $0 due to all being stay at home moms

Plans for a life size Justin Moore action figure were scrapped by Hasbro when the only prototype was dropped down a heating vent.

Even without music Gary Levox would be wealthy due to him selling his chocolate fountain design to Golden Corral.

An Australian newscaster once asked Jamey Johnson what a honky tonk badonkadonk was. Anyone that has information on the whereabouts of the reporter, please contact the Sydney Police Department.

Colt Ford controls the market price of all poultry in the USA based solely on his appetite.

Due to his preferred choice of pants, Luke Bryan's penis is six inches wide but only 1/16 of an inch thick.

Brantley Gilbert spent over $42,000 on removal of misspelled tattoos in 2012 alone.

The guys in Florida-Georgia Line were actually born in Delaware and Rhode Island, respectively.

Scott Borchetta's hair care routine consists of a regular professional wash and conditioning (the latter in the blood of a half dozen puppies).

Bucky Covington writed dis fakt purseonly.

*Thanks to Jeremy Harris for most of these.


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