Unhinged Garth Brooks Photo of the Week

Luke Bryan's Pledge to Country Music

 Based on the Buck Owen's pledge (below).

The original:

Dan + Shay Fan eCards

 Based on real YouTube comments from Dan + Shay fans.

Police Deploy Axe Sniffing Dogs to Find Illegal Bro-Country House Concerts

While Covid mandates continue to restrict large gatherings of people in most states, some bro-country artists have taken to having secret house concerts to avoid the watchful eye of the law, and the certain scorn of social media. Many of these shows have gone undetected, with the singers and audiences quieting down and hiding at first report of police in the area. As a result, law enforcement has had to employ a new tactic to bust these illegal concerts: Axe-sniffing dogs.

“We’ve found that teens and men who enjoy this kind of music tend to wear offensively strong smelling body sprays such as Axe, so we’ve trained Buster, our drug-sniffing K9, to identify similar odors.” said K9 Unit Lt. Parker Davis of the Smyrna Police Department. “It’s working like a charm so far.” 

The SPD has already shut down 2 Chase Rice concerts, a Chris Janson show, and a couple of other up-and-coming bro-country artists' parties. “There were 25 jacked-up pickup trucks in this cul-de-sac, so we knew something was going on when we followed up on a complaint from neighbors, but the area was completely silent when we started investigating,” said Davis. “Knocks didn’t root anything out, but Buster just smashed through the fence of one yard… you should have seen the wallet chains gleaming in the street lights as they all ran for it.”

Fines were levied, and four open container arrests were made. Similar stories have come in from the Tallahassee, FL area as well. “We taught our dog Hurley to detect body spray and White Claw,” said TPD’s K9 officer Levon Goins. “He’s rooted out 5 different illegal shows. I’ve never seen so many drunk white girls.”

One of the illicit concerts shut down in Tallahassee also led to arrests for crystal meth and prescription drug possession with intent. “That was one of those ‘hick hop’ shows, I think his name was Upshirt, Upchurch, something like that.” laughed Goins.

Try the Opposite, Russell Dickerson

Country Music Video Country Reaction Gifs

 Hank, gimme a sign if you like drinkin'

When Yonder Mountain String Band is about to do an encore but you suddenly can't find the stage

When one of your kids dares play Dustin Lynch in your home

That truck that cut you off while cranking Florida-Georgia Line?

When I accidentally hear 2 seconds of that Parmalee & Blanco Brown song

Oh, you have tickets for a Chase Rice concert?

Do you like real country? Do you wanna be my friend?

When there's a pyramid of cans on the shore and a lake patrol boat behind you

Mainstream Country Songwriter Starter Pack

Untrue Facts: Dolly Parton, James Hetfield, etc.

Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad Country Singers?

More Monday Memes: Sam Hunt, Joe Exotic, Alan Jackson

Hell or Nashville?

Monday Morning Memes: Blake Shelton, Kane Brown, Drive-by Truckers

Unhinged Garth Brooks Photo of the Week

Now with real Garth sound effects! (for this week anyway - sent to me by a Twitter pal) 

(isolated Garth scream below the photo)

Trailer of Farce the Music · garthscream

Al Bundy Goes Off

Created by Greg Arcade

 

If Garth Brooks Songs Were Political

 

Americana Bands Suddenly Back Singing About Farm Implements and Black Lung

Almost as quickly as they’d flipped the ideological switches 4 years ago, Americana artists this week returned to familiar pastures, turning their attentions from Donald Trump to subjects more native to the genre. Just like that, well-meaning but sometimes overwrought protest anthems were replaced by the sweet sounds of murder ballads and odes to ghost cowboys.

Some 35 new singles showed up in this writer’s Spotify Release Radar this morning from roots and folk artists, nary a one of them mentioning a “Cheeto” or border walls. Almost as if some dark cloud lifted from their minds, the lyrics of their songs suddenly saw tractors plowing the earth, drunks lamenting their lost loves, and coal miners praying for salvation on their death beds. 

Jason Isbell began work on his promised album of Georgia artist cover songs, even finding himself jovial enough to cover Charlie Daniels’ “A Few More Rednecks.”  BJ Barham of American Aquarium announced that his band was working on a new EP completely themed around North Carolina State’s signature wins in football (may have to be reduced to a single IMO). Even Will Hoge cracked a smile, vowing to release an album of songs about old pickup trucks and moonshining this March.

For his part, country and Americana legend Steve Earle was way ahead of the curve. “Oh I knew the emperor’s end was coming and it was time to get back to what we do best - and that’s singing about things from the 1950s as if they’re still relevant.” Indeed, Earle’s last 4 albums have been either covers or songs about trains, mining, and medicine show barkers.

At press time, producer Dave Cobb was booked from now until Labor Day 2023. Americana is healing. 

Sometimes It Be Like That

Bernie Simpson

Ted Lasso Country Reaction Gifs

 When one bad pop-country artist has a hit with the least country song ever, the next bad pop-country artist is like...

Oh, did I get Russell Swindell mixed up with Jordan Rice?

Some people think Sam Hunt is country and...

(they're all wrong)

Wanna hear a song from a guy who a major paper describes as the next emo-rap country star?

Me after getting in a Twitter spat with Blake Shelton

When the car beside you is blasting Kane Brown

When some Aaron Lee Tasjan comes on

When Shooter Jennings sees his manager for the first time in a while

Nice Memes for Divided Times